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carolinecraneTitle: Zeroes and Ones 1/?
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid
Rating: NC17
Summary: AU. This diverges from canon directly after 4x01. When Derek's offered the job heading up the NYC field office, he takes it for the good of his career. He expects to leave the BAU and everyone he knew in Virginia behind, but some people are easier to let go of than others.
A/N: I started writing this in September 2009, I think? That's when I posted a little teaser of the beginning, at any rate, so if it seems at all familiar, that's why. Recently I dusted it off and decided that hey, the first 10,000 words I wrote were actually not terrible. Maybe I should finish that thing, yeah? Well, it's not done yet, but I am 15,000 words in now and I thought it might be fun to start posting in parts. I'll try to post a section a day and see how far ahead of myself I can stay. Once it's done I'll post it in its entirety on AO3, so if you're not a WIP reader, you can always wait for the full version.
He'd expected Garcia to take it the hardest. When Hotch stood up in front of the team and told them all that Derek had taken the job heading up the New York City field office, Derek knew what all their reactions would be.
Well, he thought he knew, anyway, and for the most part he was right. Garcia got flustered and indignant, then sad and then right back to mad, then she started with the threats about what would happen if he didn't stay in touch. She cycled through all five stages of grief in about thirty seconds, and by the time the meeting broke up she was already planning her first trip up to visit. Prentiss was happy for him -- maybe a little jealous, but mostly happy. J.J. and Rossi both looked surprised for a second before they pulled it together to congratulate him, and he could tell they both meant it. Hotch...well, he already knew what Hotch thought about the whole thing, and he'd told himself a million times already that he didn't care.
Which left Reid.
Derek assumed Reid would react pretty much the same way J.J. and Rossi did; maybe he'd be a little sorrier to see Derek go, maybe even question whether Derek could handle the job the way Hotch had. What he hadn't expected was a wide-eyed stare, followed by that little frown he wore whenever Derek took the teasing too far. He hadn't expected total silence, not even a 'congratulations' for the sake of appearances. And he definitely hadn't expected Reid to stand up and walk out of the conference room, too-long hair hiding his face and moving so fast he practically knocked Derek off his feet on the way out.
"Reid," Derek called after him, but Reid didn't even break his stride. Then Garcia was on him, J.J. and Prentiss too, asking questions about whether he'd started looking for a place yet and which neighborhoods he'd considered and what about Clooney? So he just let Reid go, because there wasn't much else he could do.
He didn't see Reid again until later, after everyone got tired of asking Derek questions he didn't have the answers to and went back to their own desks with their stacks of neglected paperwork. Derek had plenty of paperwork of his own, all of which would have to be taken care of before he left. He heaved a sigh at the stack of folders in his inbox and glanced over at Reid's empty cubicle for what felt like the millionth time. There weren't that many places Reid could go, really, at least not without going to Hotch and asking for permission to take last-minute personal leave. And yeah, he could tell Reid was mad that Derek was leaving, but he wouldn't be upset enough to fake a sudden cold or personal emergency just to get out of the office.
They'd been through a lot together, sure, and over the years Reid had gotten comfortable enough with Derek to confide things he wouldn't tell anyone else. Sometimes he confided things he should have been telling someone else, but it had never been more than two teammates looking out for each other. It wasn't like they hung out or anything, not like Derek and Garcia or even Garcia and J.J. So he was losing another teammate, one he was comfortable with, but once Derek was gone Reid would see that it wasn't such a big loss. Someone else would come along to replace him, just like Rossi had replaced Gideon, and once Reid got used to that person, he wouldn't even think about Derek anymore.
For some reason that idea didn't sit all that well with Derek. He couldn't say why, exactly, because he'd changed jobs enough in his life to be used to how it worked. People moved on, that was just how it was. He liked everyone at the BAU, sure, but he'd always known he wasn't going to stay here forever. He shook off the unsettling feeling and picked up the coffee he'd let go cold, heading for the break room for a fresh cup.
When he got there he paused in the doorway, taking in the sight of Reid hunched over one of the tables, files spread out around him and a Styrofoam cup teetering dangerously close to Reid's elbow. He wasn't all that surprised; in fact, he was pretty sure he should have realized where Reid was from the start, because it was just like him to hide in plain sight and pout about whatever wasn't going his way. It was the reason Derek had such a hard time sometimes remembering that Reid was a grown man, because when it came to stuff like this, he reacted just like a scared little kid.
Derek crossed the room in a few short strides, catching the half-full cup of coffee before Reid knocked it off the table. "You'd probably be a lot more comfortable working at your desk."
"What do you care?" Reid muttered, glancing up long enough to flash a dark look at Derek.
He checked the urge to roll his eyes and carried both cups of coffee to the sink, dumping them before heading for the coffee maker to brew a fresh pot.
"I care."
"Yet you’re just leaving."
“Not ‘just’, kid,” Derek said, frowning because of all the people he’d expected to be upset, Reid was at the bottom of the list. Put out, sure, maybe a little annoyed, but Reid actually looked like he was taking it personally. “Leaving the BAU is tough, but this is a pretty big step for my career.”
And it was the truth, but somehow it sounded a little hollow when he said it to Reid. Maybe because for Reid the BAU was the whole reason he’d joined the FBI, because of his obsession with serial killers and the way he idolized guys like Gideon and Rossi. Or maybe it was just because he hadn’t expected Reid to react this way; sorry to see Derek go, sure, because he never dealt all that well when it came to change. But he'd never expected Reid to be angry.
“Your career? What’s wrong with working here?”
“Nothing. Look, kid…”
“And what about us?” Reid interrupted, talking right over Derek without really looking at him. Like he couldn’t meet Derek’s eyes, and he’d only seen Reid like this one other time. “The team needs you.”
It had been hard on them all when Elle left, never mind Gideon. It had been hardest on Reid, though; Derek knew it was, because he was the one Reid had talked to about it. So maybe Derek should have realized how hard he was going to take another member of the team moving on. Then again, he'd never been one of Reid's personal heroes. Anyway, at least Derek had the decency to say goodbye.
“Listen, Reid, I’m not going that far. New York’s only an hour away by plane, remember?” He grinned at the memory of their first conversation about New York, but Reid just sat there, gaze locked on his jaw and his whole body so tense that he was practically vibrating. “Look, whoever they get to replace me will fit in just fine. You got used to Prentiss, didn’t you? And I thought you were going to start a fan club for Rossi when he showed up.”
Still no reaction, and Derek let out a sigh and reached out to rest a hand on Reid’s shoulder. But before he even made contact Reid flinched away, practically scrambling out of his chair and grabbing the mess of files on the table.
“Forget it,” he said, and he still wasn’t looking at Derek. “You’re right, it doesn’t matter. See you around.”
He turned on his heel and walked away, and before Derek could even get out so much as a "Reid, wait", he was gone.
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid
Rating: NC17
Summary: AU. This diverges from canon directly after 4x01. When Derek's offered the job heading up the NYC field office, he takes it for the good of his career. He expects to leave the BAU and everyone he knew in Virginia behind, but some people are easier to let go of than others.
A/N: I started writing this in September 2009, I think? That's when I posted a little teaser of the beginning, at any rate, so if it seems at all familiar, that's why. Recently I dusted it off and decided that hey, the first 10,000 words I wrote were actually not terrible. Maybe I should finish that thing, yeah? Well, it's not done yet, but I am 15,000 words in now and I thought it might be fun to start posting in parts. I'll try to post a section a day and see how far ahead of myself I can stay. Once it's done I'll post it in its entirety on AO3, so if you're not a WIP reader, you can always wait for the full version.
He'd expected Garcia to take it the hardest. When Hotch stood up in front of the team and told them all that Derek had taken the job heading up the New York City field office, Derek knew what all their reactions would be.
Well, he thought he knew, anyway, and for the most part he was right. Garcia got flustered and indignant, then sad and then right back to mad, then she started with the threats about what would happen if he didn't stay in touch. She cycled through all five stages of grief in about thirty seconds, and by the time the meeting broke up she was already planning her first trip up to visit. Prentiss was happy for him -- maybe a little jealous, but mostly happy. J.J. and Rossi both looked surprised for a second before they pulled it together to congratulate him, and he could tell they both meant it. Hotch...well, he already knew what Hotch thought about the whole thing, and he'd told himself a million times already that he didn't care.
Which left Reid.
Derek assumed Reid would react pretty much the same way J.J. and Rossi did; maybe he'd be a little sorrier to see Derek go, maybe even question whether Derek could handle the job the way Hotch had. What he hadn't expected was a wide-eyed stare, followed by that little frown he wore whenever Derek took the teasing too far. He hadn't expected total silence, not even a 'congratulations' for the sake of appearances. And he definitely hadn't expected Reid to stand up and walk out of the conference room, too-long hair hiding his face and moving so fast he practically knocked Derek off his feet on the way out.
"Reid," Derek called after him, but Reid didn't even break his stride. Then Garcia was on him, J.J. and Prentiss too, asking questions about whether he'd started looking for a place yet and which neighborhoods he'd considered and what about Clooney? So he just let Reid go, because there wasn't much else he could do.
He didn't see Reid again until later, after everyone got tired of asking Derek questions he didn't have the answers to and went back to their own desks with their stacks of neglected paperwork. Derek had plenty of paperwork of his own, all of which would have to be taken care of before he left. He heaved a sigh at the stack of folders in his inbox and glanced over at Reid's empty cubicle for what felt like the millionth time. There weren't that many places Reid could go, really, at least not without going to Hotch and asking for permission to take last-minute personal leave. And yeah, he could tell Reid was mad that Derek was leaving, but he wouldn't be upset enough to fake a sudden cold or personal emergency just to get out of the office.
They'd been through a lot together, sure, and over the years Reid had gotten comfortable enough with Derek to confide things he wouldn't tell anyone else. Sometimes he confided things he should have been telling someone else, but it had never been more than two teammates looking out for each other. It wasn't like they hung out or anything, not like Derek and Garcia or even Garcia and J.J. So he was losing another teammate, one he was comfortable with, but once Derek was gone Reid would see that it wasn't such a big loss. Someone else would come along to replace him, just like Rossi had replaced Gideon, and once Reid got used to that person, he wouldn't even think about Derek anymore.
For some reason that idea didn't sit all that well with Derek. He couldn't say why, exactly, because he'd changed jobs enough in his life to be used to how it worked. People moved on, that was just how it was. He liked everyone at the BAU, sure, but he'd always known he wasn't going to stay here forever. He shook off the unsettling feeling and picked up the coffee he'd let go cold, heading for the break room for a fresh cup.
When he got there he paused in the doorway, taking in the sight of Reid hunched over one of the tables, files spread out around him and a Styrofoam cup teetering dangerously close to Reid's elbow. He wasn't all that surprised; in fact, he was pretty sure he should have realized where Reid was from the start, because it was just like him to hide in plain sight and pout about whatever wasn't going his way. It was the reason Derek had such a hard time sometimes remembering that Reid was a grown man, because when it came to stuff like this, he reacted just like a scared little kid.
Derek crossed the room in a few short strides, catching the half-full cup of coffee before Reid knocked it off the table. "You'd probably be a lot more comfortable working at your desk."
"What do you care?" Reid muttered, glancing up long enough to flash a dark look at Derek.
He checked the urge to roll his eyes and carried both cups of coffee to the sink, dumping them before heading for the coffee maker to brew a fresh pot.
"I care."
"Yet you’re just leaving."
“Not ‘just’, kid,” Derek said, frowning because of all the people he’d expected to be upset, Reid was at the bottom of the list. Put out, sure, maybe a little annoyed, but Reid actually looked like he was taking it personally. “Leaving the BAU is tough, but this is a pretty big step for my career.”
And it was the truth, but somehow it sounded a little hollow when he said it to Reid. Maybe because for Reid the BAU was the whole reason he’d joined the FBI, because of his obsession with serial killers and the way he idolized guys like Gideon and Rossi. Or maybe it was just because he hadn’t expected Reid to react this way; sorry to see Derek go, sure, because he never dealt all that well when it came to change. But he'd never expected Reid to be angry.
“Your career? What’s wrong with working here?”
“Nothing. Look, kid…”
“And what about us?” Reid interrupted, talking right over Derek without really looking at him. Like he couldn’t meet Derek’s eyes, and he’d only seen Reid like this one other time. “The team needs you.”
It had been hard on them all when Elle left, never mind Gideon. It had been hardest on Reid, though; Derek knew it was, because he was the one Reid had talked to about it. So maybe Derek should have realized how hard he was going to take another member of the team moving on. Then again, he'd never been one of Reid's personal heroes. Anyway, at least Derek had the decency to say goodbye.
“Listen, Reid, I’m not going that far. New York’s only an hour away by plane, remember?” He grinned at the memory of their first conversation about New York, but Reid just sat there, gaze locked on his jaw and his whole body so tense that he was practically vibrating. “Look, whoever they get to replace me will fit in just fine. You got used to Prentiss, didn’t you? And I thought you were going to start a fan club for Rossi when he showed up.”
Still no reaction, and Derek let out a sigh and reached out to rest a hand on Reid’s shoulder. But before he even made contact Reid flinched away, practically scrambling out of his chair and grabbing the mess of files on the table.
“Forget it,” he said, and he still wasn’t looking at Derek. “You’re right, it doesn’t matter. See you around.”
He turned on his heel and walked away, and before Derek could even get out so much as a "Reid, wait", he was gone.
